Crazy(?) Ruminations

 

Life plods along even as the axis-rotation of the earth appears to have been gravely skewed  based on what we continue to see in the grim parade of  marching events in our besieged world.  Events tumbling every which way, the up appearing down while the down seems up, the right being depicted as wrong, the truths inverted into falsities. Much like living in an alternate universe, with reality appearing like mirror images all in reverse.

As the earth appears to be spinning erratically we all are fearful of an eventual loss of our collective equilibrium, or really, our collective sanity.  So how does one maintain balance?  Maybe by simply getting these puzzling turns of events out into the open, into the glaring daylight and hopefully the disparate pieces will realign or are seen differently as getting back to their rightful places. Which I personally doubt.  Anyway here goes.

Much as one hopes things we see are simply mirages, but to one's chagrin, these eerie apparitions have been so for a while and remain unchanged continuing  their awkward usurpation of reality.  Start with the continuing scourge we call the pandemic. What about the naked war-like posturings of some powers. Then sidle along to the chaotic politics in the US, as preponderantly and incessantly dissected and discussed in all media, including the chattering classes in social media. One cannot help notice it because it  pops up very prominently like a sore thumb. Its  beleaguered president sitting alone dismally stripped of all options in his quest to be heard regarding his claims of massive electoral frauds.

One is hard pressed to fathom the merciless accusations and claims taken against the targeted prey coming from the mightiest temporal force yet assembled on the face of the earth. Sensing the buckling down of the harangued target, we find that the newly-minted potent political force in the American landscape reveals itself as merciless and brutal in dealing with those who defy it.  No stone is left unturned and unattended. Any opposition however token or weak will be crushed.  Thus in one feel swoop, the hapless but mightiest public official in the world is summarily shorn of his princely but petty privileges like the uses of his social media accounts which he uses to communicate with his unflinching loyalists which by conservative estimates account for half of the electorate.  The edicts originating and dictated by fledgling overlords not quite statesman-like enough but possessed of wealth and power beyond the dreams of ordinary mortals and who have arrogantly anointed themselves as  moral guardians and executioners for the citizens of this big country. 

Sensing further the vanquished being subdued by their pre-emptive strikes, the rest of the herd approaches and circles in, ready to pounce and devour.  With their rhetoric one senses the obvious relish and pleasure in their countenances. They seem not able to get enough satisfaction in their acts of  relieving themselves of their  hateful lexicon.  They cannot help repeat themselves in cadence and like drones buzzing above.  They are all expecting to hand-deliver their own merciless coup de grace.

Ironic that all this is aimed and being delivered to one now so utterly hamstrung in most things invading hordes are noted to possess and are feared.  He has no despotic powers.  He has no militia or military, since we are assured they all are poised simply to stand down and not follow his commands even as he continues to hold the official trappings of his office.  He essentially has no meaningful powers left, save for his continued resort to at times volleys of  admittedly of fast and loose rhetoric.  We have seen that he cannot even muster control of the several departments under him. Much less of the party that cradled him and which he had liberally partnered with in his many accomplishments.

But just the same  the angry advocates and believers of  the other side continue to be  flabbergasted, for they cannot understand why Trump still has massive popular support from the common people.  And this is where their inordinate hatred and morbid fear of him emanate, even when he appears to stand solitary and helpless before the world.  Their fear is more than palpable, making them concoct more  possible actions and  subterfuges  to muzzle and  silence him.  In a manner which is not only total but thorough. They aim to remove his person, his memory, and any traces of him from the face of the earth. Of his present, past, and future.  Already from the early get-go they had promised to exhume his past business dealings, and all the legal claims against his person and his business after he leaves.  And for the future, they heatedly declare to bring against him impeachment papers and claims premised on the 25th Amendment which they had both previously brought before to naught to guarantee he does not have a future.  Many may find the absolute zaniness of such moves, given the superficiality and the proximity of the end to his first term.  All because, they are so afraid this beast may still not be contained and constrained by the manifold measures they already initiated and cooked up.

The perfunctory calls for unity from the declared victors are not really heedless, rather they have of necessity come to fruition by the lines drawn.  Yes, there is unity as we speak, but it is not the unity into one that has ensued, rather it is the unity of two possibly seething factions with lines clearly drawn to separate and estrange them for battle engagement. It is now between  us and the enemy within.  The patriots versus the domestic terrorists. That is now the world the US of A  lives in, inherited from the past actions inflicted against the republic by those whose fevered quest for power and influence know no bounds and limits.  What an upside-down world it is.  Those incorrigibly invested in the supreme self-righteousness of their causes whether honestly or willfully sourced will not be appeased or satisfied with anything less than total annihilation, including for those who have the hapless misfortune of casting their lot on the target. Out with the enemy lists, they shout from their gilded ramparts. Time for cleansing and re-education.

By the way, from the viewpoint of Catholics never in the country's history have the stars been so aligned.  It has a Supreme Court headed by a Catholic jurist, with about 5 or 6  justices out of 9 also Catholics.  The more numerous and powerful Lower House of Congress has a female head who is also Catholic. And .. tada, a president-elect who is not only Catholic, but devoutly so as publicly pronounced.  And who is tacitly favored by the Papacy. But does the domain reflect the peace, inclusiveness and universality the Church is vaunted for? And beyond that what about the congruence of the moral policies of the upcoming administration with the enduring and unchanging doctrines of the Church?  Judge for yourself.

Finally,  disheartened to note that  a good number of media pundits and amateur acolytes on social media who use such stringent and merciless rhetoric against this "sinner" are also  Catholics.

Lord, in your strict justice, please allow your mercy to shower and reign supreme!  For us all!

Confessions on Living in a Political Echo Chamber

I was a first generation immigrant to the US in 1980.  In that year our  family of 4 underage kids, not counting the wife and I, migrated to No. California, in the scenic city of San Francisco.  We would stay in a small flat rented by my mother-in-law located close to downtown San Francisco.

We would spend a good part of 30 years living in the same area, aptly named the San Francisco Bay Area, a cluster of burgeoning cities and towns closely hugging the bay and the ocean,  that totally would have over 8 million residents.  Aside from the astounding views and climate, it was also a very affluent area.  Not surprisingly costs of living were very high, notably with regard to real estate and consumer prices.

Employment opportunities were mostly in the tourist trade and industry, though going further south was Silicon Valley which would soon burst into the world stage as the hotspot for IT and the computer industry and where tech jobs were plentiful.  It was ground zero for the tech  boom of the 90's.

With our limited initial options, we decided to stake our future in that former environment, the wife finding employment in the local banking industry and I worked in the premier hotel in the city.  Overall, our family life was not bad, though we constantly had to juggle our jobs with the many demands for the care needed for our young impressionable kids. 

And on my part, I wasted no time undertaking my needed familiarization with the environment we found ourselves in, from the economic, to the social and political, which we all found to be quite different from the ones we came from.

And on the political front, I singlehandedly tried to learn as much as I could, at ease with the knowledge that the kind of government and politics were not much different from the one in the old homeland.  So I soaked in as much as I could or was fed me – from books, newspapers and magazines, and media like radio and TV.  And of course, from first-hand exposure to political activities in our daily living and working lives.  For me personally, it was a quite liberating experience witnessing first hand governance in a first world milieu.

What was not easily discernible to me then was that subtly or unwittingly I was being indoctrinated to one particular ideology which so characterized the Bay Area. No doubt it was definitely very liberal, and at the same time, libertine.

All these stayed under the surface until such time when I decided to shift from private employment to government.   From that change one invariably realized the rigid community that one had thrusted himself into, where political dissent was not countenanced and everybody was expected to toe a certain ideological spiel that had to be followed strictly.  Obey or you have no place to go.  And this I found among my contemporaries, people who were mostly members of minority groups.  The year was 2000, when the Bush-Gore election fiasco exploded.

To cut the story short, one then realized that the entire bay area, which is a very significant part of the entire state, had transmogrified into one political voice, enforced by very committed ideologues who tolerated no dissent. It truly became one bailiwick for  liberal  ideas, much like its counterpart LA in the southern part.  What used to be a 50-50 state in ideology during the time of Reagan and earlier became a Democratic bastion ruled by its overlords.  So committed to liberal ideals and politicians that in many recent  elections, the other party stayed away from campaigning, or even putting up opposing candidates,  save in some political enclaves that were not yet converted.

Media became  its most committed and vociferous acolyte in the dogged pursuit of unchallenged influence and paramount power, endlessly promoting ways and means to advance the ideology.  And truly reflective of the politics in the area, San Francisco even became a one newspaper town, and the more popular radio talk-shows were of the liberal bent. 

In this echo chamber only one voice and command resonates and listeners or viewers were invariably sucked in to the maelstrom, me included. Initially it felt good, being aligned with the rest and finding affirmation in what one has come to believe as truths.  But we know that in such a stifling environment so much of the goodness of the rule of democracy and freedoms are threatened and relegated to minor roles.  And replaced with authoritarianism and in a real way, of a despotic rule of the few who control the levers of power and influence. 

Continuing to subsist there simply means being subtly held in those beliefs.  After all, most ideas from whichever sides, including extreme liberal ideas were meant for the amelioration of the common good.  At least, that was how it was always phrased in official declarations. 

One desiring alternative voices will have to dig deep and far to find them, as scarce as finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

And this I had to do to begin my enlightenment or simply broadening my views  in politics.  One then learned to be discerning and discriminating in sources of news and information, media outlets, etc.  Media had become very partisan and could not be relied because while certain facts were withheld from dissemination, others were massaged to adhere to certain narratives promoting  the liberal ideologies.

And it was  a very liberating feeling to be able to think freely from a distance, examining other ideologies and being informed with sufficiently diverse  knowledge to make informed decisions.

It does take a lot of determination and effort  to be able to do this, more challenging than to be simply part of a faceless crowd chanting the same slogans which is definitely an easier path  to tread. 

A motto borrowed from one Jesuit school lectures us that, Veritas Liberat Vos.

The truth shall set you free.

  

Trump One: Epilogue?

  

In the end the solitary outlier stood lonely amidst a desolate landscape, abandoned by many of his supposed allies.  And more wantonly condemned not only by his political adversaries, but also mocked in the harshest terms possible even by those who were nestled comfortably in their well-appointed and heated abodes, people who would not be caught voicing out any mild expletive against their loved ones.  Or we doubt raised voices and action in support of the hapless plight of their neighbors.  Avowed Christians and other religionists who would be wont to kneel before their gods pleading in the humblest of terms and modes for forgiveness of their own shortcomings and misdeeds. How so ironic, indeed.

But I do believe that the outlier continues to inhabit the higher ground, promising to guarantee a peaceful transition after the last nail to his pleadings has been driven through.  This to the utter dismay and consternation of his many detractors, and they are countless, who had wanted to witness violent physical harm done on him.  They would have adored that.  But no such luck.  Because now like it or not, after all the possible legal remedies opened to Trump have been explored and exploited, he has expressed his desire to follow through with the peaceful process.  As he had previously intended and expressed.  He continues to be adamant and will not accept the verdict, but he will submit himself to the peaceful process.

But was it all for naught?  From this point of view, not in the least.  Because of his efforts the following unseemly topics of conversation have been brought to the forefront, ugly and damning.  Whether for good or naught, will depend largely on the coming months and years.  BTW, count on him to continue being in the public limelight.  So to those who continue to be bothered by his presence, he will continue to be a thorn on the side. Include here the millions who will continue to be on his side, no matter how hard the powers that be try to silence them.

Now we know and we doubt any right-thinking person denies it, that electoral fraud has been a long-time housemate in the complicated electoral system.  The question simply is how big?  Given the known widespread extent, the very intuitive advanced technologies and schemes used, the unlimited resources deployed to engage and harness such nefarious plans, the many ways used by big tech to sway and censor opinions, that may be one formidable task. 

But this we are sure. Now we know about Dominion and Smartmatic electronic systems that have been in used in other parts of the world for clandestine purposes.  Now we know about how extensive and influential dark money has been deployed to manipulate elections, appealing and catering to man's innate love of money and greed.  Now we have timelessly seen and heard the very dark underbellies of US media and the affluent elites, in their biased partisanship inside their one big collective bubble.  Now we know that the US as a country is heading toward a very powerful big-government status, lorded over with one voice coming from a coterie of the high and powerful - media, big tech, Wall Street, academia, and yes, the Democratic Party.

Watch it as it is unfolding right now in your closest neighborhoods. Start with the most recent Georgia run-off Senate elections where many were surprised that the state suddenly turned blue.  Not when the same machinery and resources deployed during the last elections were similarly applied.  Now that power has control of both houses and the executive department. And if the projected plan to "pack " the Supreme Court finds reality, the levers of the three (3) levels of government will clearly be in the hands of that juggernaut. 

As they are wont to say when they want to change long-held and enduring standards and practices, we need to bring these novel things into our conversation.  So now, let the conversations begin. 

A MINOR CLASH OF CIVILIZATIONS, OR SIMPLY, DIFFERENCES IN MORAL VALUES?

This has been bubbling underneath for quite a while, more like for the last 65 years.  And it is still as fresh and intense as the earliest period when all this unraveled. It had stayed uninvited in my mind all this time, kept stowed in the back burner but at times surfacing and loitering in my waking hours.

First let us line up the protagonists, or the actors in this bit of melodrama.  The dominant player one could say was a young Jesuit scholastic coming from the mighty US of A, who had nobly volunteered to spend time and service in the Philippines, far away and quite removed from the progress and development enjoyed in his blessed country.  Inspired we surmised with the gallant purpose of bringing good American education and the words of the Gospels to a fledging country that had leaned decidedly Christian Catholic.

On the other side would be me, middle child of nine siblings, quite timid and overly introverted; keeping pretty much to myself though possessed of a mind that was ever on high gear daydreaming or thinking fanciful things about the world.  And thus I had always asked the intriguing question: Does timidity encourage bouts of fantasy role-playing?

The two protagonists invariably meet almost in an inadvertent way.  I did not ask to be born and at the very least, he was unaware of what he was getting into, other than what he had understood about his own culture and morality.  And of course, he was on a life mission that was noble and commendable.

While my milieu and the particular circumstances that nurtured me would create the kind of person I would grow up to be, he had spent time growing up in a somewhat idealized way, raised by Catholic parents and in very empowered working class setting, and educated in the rigid Catholic tradition up to his college years.  Equipped we suppose of the moral tools and habits designed to produce other good Catholic kids, even those coming from different backgrounds.   Like kids like me.

Anyway he came to my life as a HS junior, a time when I was pretty much left to my own devices and at that time beginning to show nonchalance and listlessness about the formal education process. And I had instead taken easy interest in being part of a close-knit group of my own contemporaries and school mates.  Feeling comfortable in an existence with minimal structure and boundaries, which were not judged necessarily bad or good.  Just enough to get by and stay out of trouble in general.  And liberally free from many constricting rules to follow and keep.

That was the externality of that existence, because inside I had countless daydreams that occupied me and somehow desired some realization or fulfillment.  Dreams of being looked up to because of certain skills and smarts, like possessed of good writing skills, looking physically good, with admirable skills in public acting, singing, and orating.  And more, as gleaned and captivated by the celluloid idols of my days. In that world, it seemed that traditional moral issues were not only practiced selectively but some maybe frozen in time. So it was deemed okay to take some available shortcuts to arrive at certain results. And this applied even to regular school work.

So did not think much about plagiarizing English translations of Latin passages from a kept-secret book borrowed from the library, or imitating writing styles or words from some articles read, etc.  Or justifying keeping stuff found simply dismissing them as rewards under the catch-all justification, finders keepers.  Or taking small things without asking. Any small thing to gain advantage and insignificant enough not to raise any tinge of conscience. In short, somewhat morally ambivalent with regard to small stuff which in my mind then did not really mean much.

With almost dull cadence I went through my high school days in some kind of mindless but directed  existence.  Insufferably doing just enough to pass through schooling, though trying to excel at a few endeavors that I considered I could make something out of.

That kind of dull existence led to less than satisfactory school work, which did not really faze me, nor meant anything much to me.  School at that stage was simply a process that I tolerated.  Not really thinking about it as part of a greater future.  But who cared.

Anyway, one day a few weeks before the end of school as things were being wrapped, I received an unexpected surprise in my young timid life.  I received back a regular notebook where we wrote translations of our Latin textbook, and submitted regularly for grading by the teacher.  On the empty page where the last translation work ended were emblazoned the following words coming from the teacher:  This is to certify that Amadeo V. Neri, Jr. is a complete failure for the year.  And signed in full by the author.  No explanation.  My world dropped and got so aimlessly stunned I did not know how to react.

Kept the notebook to myself, and showed it only to my mates in our gang.  Made no move and was not made to account for it by the teacher.  While we continued to meet casually, no mention from either of us of the incident was made.  The  year ended and I did get a passing grade for that Latin subject.  The crux of that matter may have been that the prior year I received a silver medal for being the best in Latin.  That probably triggered the outright consternation and condemnation.  This thorn was necessarily in the forefront for another year since I still had to go through senior year of HS, which year got progressively worse.  But who cared.   In short, I made it through HS, though because of shortcomings was not allowed to go through graduation exercises.  But who cared.

And I find that over the years whatever few talents I have discovered in me I have tried to explore and exploit in all possible ways. Like in drawing, in writing, and most everything else I do I do with the end in view of making sure that I project my best efforts.  Resolving to bring out my best in the tasks I do, like in work or simply in living my life as a single person and as father of a family.  This in a way tells me and people too that I always try to bring out the best in me in whatever I do, and have been doing this on my own and in the best morally possible and decent way I know how.  

Though still certain available shortcuts may have been undertaken, it was always with the end in view of benefiting other people and not me.  The considered moral lapses are justified in my mind and thus am not troubled too much by conscience, though  when I was younger there was a point when I considered these lapses I could never justify.  And of course, the fear of being caught pushed hard on me.  However, I have been fortunate to not be caught in compromising situations, and had been able to justify that maybe that is God’s way of telling me to take it easy, though it is really not that bad.  Else I would have been punished early on.  Still this troubles me and gnaws at me, making me more tentative or fearful in engaging in such lapses.  Though I have been very careful and deliberate when I think and decide on these things, and allow time and effort to lapse and slow down before actually doing it.

In later years most of the earlier issues would change as maturity or awakening started to take hold.  And I would turn out to be almost like a different person after those intervening years.  And as I far as I knew we both would go our own separate ways.  Learned that my erstwhile mentor would continue his work in the homeland, and would actually spend his last years there.  He had been aside from more assignments in other Jesuit schools in the Philippines become focused in giving spiritual retreats, which are very important exercises in the Jesuit schools and communities.  He had written several books on the subjects relevant to them, and I had even acquired and read several of those books.

In the back of my mind I had always desired that one day I would like to talk to him about that forgotten traumatic incident in high school that remained hanging without proper explanation and closure all these years.  A possibly convenient occasion popped up when I learned that he was invited by another HS classmate to join us in our 50th reunion. Never got the chance since he failed to join us for the reunion, and I learned that some months later that he had quietly passed on in his adopted homeland.

So any closure to be done at this stage would remain to be virtual and alas, just a figment of the imagination. 

And there may be a couple more that I am working on, working toward unraveling them and seeking closure.

And this we need to do till we breathe last.

 

Trump After Trump

 

Wouldn’t it be artful irony, or even karmic revenge, if in the next four years Trump with his ubiquitous presence, memory, or as they say, his “antics”, would continue to reside in the inert wakefulness of all those who deride and loathe him?  Enjoying free and permanent lease inside their heads?  Though he typically wastes no time in responding to any criticism leveled at him, we know Trump has been masterful taking such unkind offerings in good stride.

It seems only fair for this to ensue.  After all the four years of the Trump presidency have been characterized by the numerous and incessant gauntlets thrown at him by his rabid opposition from all directions.  And not a single one stuck to convict him.

And no doubt whoever sits in the throne, the next four years will be one big truckload of daunting challenges from the resistant pandemic to the manifold global economic challenges. And at this stage, there is no discernible daylight at the end of the tunnel. Never mind the growing threats of bellicose intervention coming from the great powers. Failure therefore will be one calculated reality having a rightful place in any negotiating table, for those seated around it and tasked with the tough decisions to be made.

As we speak, even as they incessantly declare that Trump is in the dismal clutches of ignominious rebuffs on many legal fronts, he still is their main focus of criticism and derision, sparing no ink and paper in critique of a supposed gnat.  They seem not able to get enough of him.  And we know too well, how it is when thinking ill of another is one’s main preoccupation.  He who promotes it will likely suffer more than the target.  Such indignation will gnaw and eat away at the very core of those who promote them for a living.

And Trump, now emboldened by the solid following of half of the electorate will no doubt take chockfull advantage of that privilege.  Remember when he started his political life, even his own declared party did not accept him.  Even those who were socially allied disowned him.  This and what he had collectively accomplished prior to this debilitating pandemic, will no doubt accrue in his favor, giving him a sterling legacy to leave behind.  And overall, we no doubt will see that history will be kinder to this man.  It cannot be any other, given the facts as historical bases. It will be a depiction more reasonable and fair than what his many detractors are attributing to him now.

And in passing, we know they are all against Trump and whatever he was done.  Yet this late, we are still not seeing or knowing what exactly do they stand for.  Other than the lifelong devotion to the many narrow vested interests the unholy alliances of the cadre of oligarchs, tech elites, media pundits, even socialist anarchists, etc. are committed to and for which the public undoubtedly do not really care for or about.  Or if they do, they do not redound to any desirable benefit for them. The reason then, nobody is articulating what they stand for in terms of actual beneficial programs for the collective? 

And they have piously limited themselves to making motherhood statements about the good and welfare of the country, people, and politics.  All, white-wash paint sprayed on sepulchers!  Pregnant with verbosity, but very lean on actionable programs that could work.

Anyhow, all this will also pass into history, stowed in the past which will be forgotten by present generations.  But there will always be that hardy band of serious historians in the future who will exhume all this, if only to highlight the recidivist nature of man.  This 2020 election for all the hoopla it has generated will be most remembered for the massive and pervasive voter/electoral frauds inflicted on an aging system ripe for scavenging and/or collapse.  Unfortunately, the search for truth was not that sharp and keen to a languid generation weaned on instant gratification and satisfaction.  So let the sunlight shine another day!