Understandably these twilight years bring diminished capabilities and mobility, resulting in almost bunker-like existence. Shrinking one's world and ken even more as days are piled under, with attention laser-focused on eternity in general, but day-to-day living in particular.
Thus, we are not even in the midst of family life. We are simply alone, an old man with his wife by his side eking out solitary existence. The rest of the family now on their own with their own families and concerns.
Moments like these when one begins to converse with one self rather than with other people. They are our Says-I-To-Me moments, with your consciousness on one side and your still-thriving mind on the other.
In these instances you quickly learn introspection and reflection if you have not already. One begins to ask profound questions about oneself. In the shortened drive to eternity, what are your purposes in life? However late-term they may be, what are they and how may they be pursued and accomplished?
Though short and straightforward the question may be, no easy answers can be deduced. Best then to just go through all the things one does and see where they lead if they make sense at all. Brainstorming is always a good start.
In the rush to eternity, what have I been doing and for what reasons?
In no particular order then, here are the things and chores that had occupied my time as we speak.
With great preparation and financial effort, I have been able to publish a book of almost 500 pages. So much so that a second volume is in the works. Is my purpose as an author then? Anyway, I am now a registered author and my book now has a unique ISBN number assigned to it.
During my grade school I had always had a predilection for doing sketches, starting early with imitating caricatures in comic books, newspapers, and magazines. I can recall the first time I did it and felt proud of my sketchy work. I had imitated the caricature of then Phil. President Elpidio Quirino whose default caricature was that of a big-nosed and heavy-set man sitting on a padded seat with one heavily bandaged foot raised on an ottoman. The guy suffered from a bad case of gout. I imitated that sketch and even got an admiring nod from my taciturn mother who in turn relayed such joyful discovery to relatives. And to this day in some kind of compulsion, I continue to do sketches, this time specializing in busts of famous and notable personalities. I probably have accumulated a collection of about 400 pieces. Am I an illustrator then, slavishly pursuing that path till the end? In this regard, I also am both a numismatist and philately collector, accumulating about 2000 pieces of coins from various countries. Being an avid Elvis Presley fan, I can also boast of a modest collection of memorabilia comprising mostly of books and MP3 files.
I was an employee for about 37 years, and earned my essential living being one. Was able to raise family and provide for our retirement years. In hindsight, I do put value on what I did as such and am grateful for what it afforded us as a family. Clearly it was pursued with earnest as a necessity, and not because I liked doing it. As a matter fact, I can confess that I was only too eager and happy when employment stopped. Now it is regarded simply as a past phase of my life. Nothing less, nothing more.
Indeed, right after employment I wasted no time looking for the path to self-employment or entrepreneurship. Commenced earlier even before retirement by getting license as a real estate agent. And engaging formally in the business for at least 3 years, the initial validity period of my license as i recall. And after that, secured another state license as personal financial analyst which served me well personally. Then in a very serious way, the IT bug got me, and I could not help myself learning as much as I could digest about it. So did a lot of serious self-study to secure license as a network and sysadmin technician. Our eventual return to the old homeland cut short any attempt of securing that license, though with regard to subject knowledge I had gone through the wringer of learning and researching. And I considered myself as ready as I could get.
It was back to the old homeland when the entrepreneurship bug caught me. Started with planting high-value crops on rented agricultural land. And eventually buying some plots with agriculture in mind. Also went into real estate investments, with residential apartments and commercial spaces for rent. Established 2 bakery sites, and a water-refilling station. And even tried a piggery fattening business.
And now in a tad grandiose way, established a resort/retreat patterned as a farmhouse model with lodgings available and spaces and structures available also for functions and events. And in the works will be an inn for more accommodations. And by the way, we also had much earlier started a coffee orchard with about 2000 trees, which are now fruit-bearing. At least two harvest seasons have been had. We also have little fishpond, seeded with tilapia and catfish. We also plant flowers for show and for sale, too. So is entrepreneurship the purpose for this existence? Definitely, we are in the thick of it with construction projects still ongoing. So indeed we are into entrepreneurship.
On another front, this time using social media as tool, I have engaged in what I call my truth-telling advocacy, especially because nowadays fake news and deliberate misinformation are so prevalent in the institutions we have long regarded as trustworthy and reliable. But have now gone to the dark side. So I spend considerable time, disseminating and dispensing truth where I find it, and assist to make known the emerging personalities who are also committed to the same task. And for this, I consider myself a citizen journalist, tasked with a very noble and admirable purpose worthy of effort and maybe, worth dying for.
With all these confusing choices, what reasonable deduction can one draw in reply to the initial question?
I can't say. So maybe best to just let things slide. Let the chips fall where they may.
But then even holy books warn that one cannot run away from oneself. So always best to confront and resolve.
So if that be the case then let me pursue all of the above for all men. And continue on with what are being done.
Amen.
