Friday, August 03, 2018


The issue of parenting is both apropos and relevant for young parents.

There are how-to or self-help books on parenting, maybe to a point that there may be too much information about the subject. And many times, these different sources take divergent analyses or opinions on the same subject(s), maybe to a point that can confuse earnest parents.

But one thing we learn from experience is that each child is uniquely different, thus how to properly parent a child will depend largely on a parent's intimate and personal knowledge and understanding of each child.

There is an almost inherent bias for parents to assume that if they believe they were raised properly, what worked for them will work for their children too. After all, many of us know and believe that a child is composed of 50% of one spouse, and the other 50% of the other spouse, so it would be easy to assume that at that default stage we already know enough of our children to tailor the kind of parenting we believe will work.

But nothing I believe is farther from reality. Each child is still uniquely different from both parents to a point that we cannot safely say that the child is like either one of the parents, or maybe likened to other ancestors. That is just one facet of the mystery and awesomeness of life.

Additionally, as parents we tend to treat our children as fragile and easily traumatized individuals. Many facts point to a somewhat accepted reality that children are typically stronger, more malleable, and able to adapt to varying degrees of conditions and situations than we think they can. There is more than enough knowledge to show that children born and raised in very challenging situations have been able to lift themselves with their own bootstraps to become functioning and exemplary members of our society.

Does it make parenting more difficult? I believe so, since we now collectively possess more knowledge than the previous generations, the responsibilities become exponentially greater. Add to that the fact that life itself has become more and more complicated for the coming generations. Remember the cliché, with great powers come greater responsibilities.