Thursday, September 30, 2021

Musings: when letting the mind run free and wild

 




The current Pope started his Papacy with great fanfare and expectations, and at the beginning he did not disappoint.  The essay below spoke of those first months of his tenure.

a’ Kempis (of Imitation of Christ renown) repeatedly reminded his readers not to play favorites with the saints and holy men of the Church.  It is sufficient for our purposes to acknowledge and be inspired by their exemplary lives lived in the service and worship of God.  Remember we have a very jealous God that will not countenance any competition with regard to worship.

In the case of the current Pope, many of us may have to re-think our thoughts about him, especially with regard to his holiness and righteousness.

And this might reveal how we ought to regard him based on what is impliedly coming from him.  Many devotees who have gotten near him and have been blessed by him have reported that in return and in parting the Pope is wont to offer the request that we also pray for him.  And many have been dumbfounded by this reaction.

But it is quite obvious.  Many come to him to ask for his blessings and prayer.  In return his parting word is his subtle way of telling these people that they are in the same boat with him, subject to the same flaws and vicissitudes.  Thus, if we ask for prayer and blessing from a fellow human, then we ought to return that favor by also praying for him.

As simple as that.


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                                                                       911 DIRGE


Words rush out of our mouths, like cascading river.

Never forget, never forget this horrible day.

Almost mindless and robot-like we continue to roar.

Always remind, always remember this fateful day.


Memory should be permanently ingrained in our minds.

Death and destruction wrought on a hapless nation.

When all it did was lived its daily life, unheeding.

Unmindful and not wishing anyone any ill will.


But we pause to ask: Why so, did it deserve its fate?

Did it inflict harm to its own, and thus feel remorse?

But no such thing happened, or is inferred as such.

Its reply to this revealed the nation's raw intent.


The loud answer shouted out what the real reason was.

Not to forget and forgive for retribution is coming.

And indeed such came in haste and in succession.

And the world has not forgotten nor will it forget.


Yet we continue our chants, never forget, never forget.

And we drone in cadence, each time the day draws nigh.

Yet we continue in our merry ways, unheeding the signs.

The signs that will bring the same dreaded aftermath.


The country continues to install rulers reflecting that.

The words from  mouths not synching what is in the heart.

Rendering then the yearly exercise pointless as can be?

So then we be quiet and proceed in our wayward ways?


Fate be the anointed guide and decider of the future grim.

At least we act true to what we have become as humanity.

Unheeding to old ideals that ought rule our daily lives.

To say Amen so long as we are aligned to kin and kith.



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                                                         Ways of Winning and Losing


Listened to both post-game interviews of the 2 good-looking losers in the semi-finals of the WTA US Open.

They did appear humbled by the 2 smiling and light-hearted victors, who appeared enjoying themselves not only with their many wins, but being thrust into the wild and noisy world stage.

When asked about their losses, one like throwing up her arms conceded that the youngster could not do anything wrong in her game.  The other said because she did not play her best.  Why not because the other players showed better than their best?  C'mon.

Also, they thought the youngsters won because they were fearless and had nothing to lose.

Huh?  Were they not that young before?  Maybe just 5-6 years ago?

A youngster pushed into that lion's den and having no fears?  Nothing to lose?  Most of us would not be able to control the shaking in our legs and bodies.


Thursday, September 16, 2021

OF STRANGE DREAMS OF FEAR AND ANXIETY




All through life I have always had strange recurring dreams, but of late some are just too pronounced and demanding it becomes difficult not to take notice.  And over time I have written about such dreams, wanting to learn more about them.   Now it is postulated by some learned sources that dreams could actually be realities in a different dimension.

One such reverie occurred last night and thus thought it right to commit to writing at the first opportunity. Some familiar hallmarks do for me instigate such dreams to occur and this particular night was one such occasion.

I was just about ready to call it a day, after I had been physically drained by the yardwork I completed a few hours earlier.  And this coupled by the fact that the Internet was down due to maintenance work of the provider.  So I was just about ready to bed before 9 pm, after a hard day's work.

The dream materialized even before the hour turned to midnight.  It commenced this way.

For some unexplainable reason I still continue to work with the Westin St. Francis Hotel, though I had much earlier retired from it after 20 years of employment.  I thus find myself still working alone doing the IT work I had done prior to retirement.

And because dreams never typically follow the proper time sequence in real life, this narration will be one such example, jumping in time every which way.

So first I find myself looking for the room where former President George W. Bush is billeted and as is wont in similar dreams in the past I have difficulty negotiating through corridors, elevators, function rooms, etc. looking for the suite that I thought he would be in. And like past dreams, I find myself unable to find the right room.

Then the dream brings me back earlier, when I am inside that huge and dark wood-paneled room with the former president and another white-haired person that later I would recognize as being part of hotel security.  They were playing tennis inside that huge room, though at times it would turn to badminton.  On one side of the court was a big tree located near the baseline.  And so watching the game I placed myself beside the tree. But was told to step back because the tree was inside the court, which I did.  Then a little later, the white-haired person tells me that he had a good 15-minute workout playing tennis and badminton in which I remarked that I would have had a hard time doing what he did.

Then I find myself anxious in bed covering myself with a crumpled white sheet, with the former president beside me in another bed, and he is trying to placate  me, not to worry because my two bags will be given back to me in due time. In the dream, the 2 little bags are those I typically carried with me to work, with personal items in them, like my devotional books, my daily journal, and the usual clutter of pens and pencils, keys, etc. and at times extra clothing since at times after work I would change in the car and walked or jogged along the downtown area of San Francisco.

Anyway, he assures me that the bag will be returned, including some stuff that he would give me for my children.  It is then when I realize that I could be in danger, leaving behind in his room what could possibly be used to hurt him.  Maybe a bomb?  So my mind started racing about what things I may have in those two bags.  I recall that Bush was telling me that he liked one bag, which he described as a "tartanilla" bag and I said that old leather bag which looked a bit like a satchel  was given by my father, which bag when he was still using it contained all documents of his case load.  I then started to cry, though he gave assurance that nothing would happen to me.

At this juncture, I woke up staring at the darkness in the room, and my mind continued racing, this time about real things that happened to me.

I then thought about the time as a kid maybe of 8 or 9 when my father brought me with him to the town of Dansalan, in Lanao, where Muslims lived.  Riding his jeep we traveled to the place which is some 130 kilometers going west from our place. He had brought along his "porfolio" a small leather bag that contained his legal documents, and I was tasked to carry it around for him.  I do not recall any more companion with us, nor any conversation we may have had.  But I recall that reaching the place, there was a small coterie of people waiting and watching.  My father breaks through the crowd and enters the one-storey building where the legal case was supposed to be heard.  I left him with his bag and got back to the jeep outside, while the people milling around were all sucked inside.  Then nothing else.

Next my mind got into another occasion when I again rode the jeep of my father as his companion, this time there were other people and  luggage with me.  I was seated at the back on one side where a bare metal bench was. Nothing more than part of the frame of the jeep.  Facing forward, I had my feet raised on the bench and had a good view of the outside.  We were traversing graveled roads on some mountainous areas.  A detail I find hard to forget was that the soil on the shoulders of the road was reddish in color like clay, which is quite different in color from the one we had in the lowland areas. I had thought then that we were travelling to places like Imbatug, or Talakag, or even Impalutao in Bukidnon.

Another memory that tried to crowd in was my extended trip with my maternal grandmother to the remote island of Culion, in Palawan.

This time I became pensive and reflective.  From these experiences it would appear that the adults in our family had assigned for me a special task in their lives - as a travelling companion.  And to bolster to that, I also recall instances in my childhood when I would also accompany my mother, doing things that seemed like a child had no proper part in it, like going to movies that had adult themes.

Reality beckons, so I stood up, flicked the light switch, and starting writing my memories. 




Sunday, September 05, 2021

Fernanda Cabrera Osmena Velez

 





Fernanda Cabrera Osmena Velez

So this narrative will be preserved and archived in my blog.

https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=10159203705727348&set=a.84132687347


She was Fernanda Cabrera Osmena, who married Porfirio Velez. Her parents were Victoriano Osmena and Januaria Cabrera.

She was already elderly when I would stay with her or accompany her on trips. Her more prominent features were high cheekbones, long face, and droopy-eyed. So tried to recapture her image with those features at an earlier age.

My most intimate companionship with her was when as a little kid I accompanied her on a very extended vacation to the remote island of Culion, the leper colony. We stayed with the family of one of her married daughters.

She was most independent and regal in stature having lost her husband still in the 30s. She was quiet and withdrawn much like my own mother. Kept herself busy with her religious devotionals, and darning clothes in the most intricate fashion. I would watch her do this and be in awe at what she had done, like a little machine had done the work.


Sunday, August 29, 2021

A Blog Entry Of Random Thoughts For A Sunday




As creatures with Free Will, no subject ought to be taboo.

We learn that the biblical sense of sin is this:  Missing the mark.  Thus, we sin because we miss the mark.

Now, bearing false witness against another man is missing the mark.

What about bearing false witness against another man because we believe the source(s) that allowed us to make such a witness?  Or because we are informed by such sources? And we believe without giving due diligence that sources are divulging the facts rather than their opinions.

That would still be missing the mark in my best judgment.

Because before making judgments against another man, or worse bearing false witness against another, one is compelled to first learn of the truth.  One cannot be satisfied with accepting things at face value.  Unless, we harbor entrenched loathing for another making it easy to make rash judgment at the slightest hint or provocation.

I am finding as I continue my virtual travels, that this is the one thing that muddies or complicates discussions on issues that are delicate but vital to our continued health and peace.   Issues about politics.  About religion.

And as some sort of cop-out, we then dismiss the whole thing and declare these subjects as taboo for good and cordial social interaction.

Yet deep down we know that we would become the better if we allowed ourselves unfettered and unhindered access and discussion to issues on religion and politics.

                                                         

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My Own Prayer for Serenity


From the clutter and frenzy of our everyday lives deliver us, O Lord.

And bring us to the mount of simplicity and serenity 

where we can find you with the destiny wrought for us all.

Let not the many allures of the world beset and confuse us.

For when all is said and done, they all matter but little.


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 A conscious stream of thought rides along my Sunday jog

Your earthly life is so very short. Do not waste any of it.

An admonition constantly hammered in our minds, especially for those of us in the twilight of our years.

And from the river of ideas propounded, many of us may be getting the wrong notions about this saintly beatitude written above.

Why seekest thou rest (and pleasure), since thou art born to labor? - chimed in a’ Kempis.

So, ask yourself this question: How is life then wasted or not wasted?

A life of ease and pleasure, or one of constant vigilance and pursuit of thoughts and acts that purify the soul? 


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 In Prayerful Supplication


Lord, what have we become?  For this is what I see before me.

So much loathing, hatred, and deceit toward other people, like we were unspoiled angels untainted by the very impaired nature bestowed on us.  

The few who do humbly scrutinize their own lives find themselves just as debauched, or even worse as the persons they are criticizing.   

We hate, yet our own lives are hateful or we tend toward odious things.  Projection?  We forget our beloved Christian exhortation, hate the sin, not the sinner.

Our children wallowing largely in a life of ease and comfort in these advanced stages of civilization and technology, so capable of knowing so much and thus ought to be inclined toward wisdom and prudence. 

Yet good enough numbers are so haughty, disrespectful, and unlettered to the ways of what is rightful for them to do or be as children, like being deferential and dutiful to their parents or elders. Or how about be subject to authority?

 They publicly disparage others taunting them to educate themselves, yet they are so oblivious about their own unawareness.  

Christ did warn that in pursuit of our own salvation, humanity will find itself in great turmoil, with families against families, parents against each other, and children against their parents, friends against friends, etc.

 We are told in that alternate existence we are expected to stand alone in our beliefs and resolve, solitary before our own judgment, and accountable only for our very own actions.  And not even for those of our own loved ones.

Is this what has become?  And there are telltale signs pointing to something.


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A Sunday Thought

In these times when we as a species are forever trying to exhibit and pay obeisance  to our social and gregarious nature, we are reminded of a simple but hard saying by a’ Kempis in his Imitation of Christ book.

We humans are constantly seeking discourses because we seek comfort from one another.  In explanation, he lays out one possible reason why humans are constantly on the move seeking new sights and new people to interact with.

And we find it could be for a self-centered reason, which at times could be clothed in altruism or other self-less reason.

Thus, we have to constantly be on the alert to examine whether our actions or protestations have the single eye of intention, or whether we do things for our own satisfaction and contentment.

Christ himself has cautioned us about the difficulty of showing the single eye of intention in the things we do here on earth.  So that when we say that we are doing things for the greater glory of God, are there no other more self-serving intentions thrown into the mix?

This we have to constantly remind ourselves lest we be misled.


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The strong contravening forces of both nature and nurture will conspire to almost guarantee that the next generations will be different from the previous.  The mothers and fathers different from their children; children and grandchildren from their ancestors.

Though it is still an obvious reality when certain individuals will surprise people when they start looking and acting like their previous generations.

And the similarities and differences will tread beyond just physical attributes, but all the way down to values and priorities.

I do believe that God’s stupendous and inscrutable creation assures the utter uniqueness of each human individual brought into this world.

We just hope the moral absolutes learned through the ages will find their way down to the last generation of humanity.  After all, we also believe these are encoded in our very nature.


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A timely rule to live by for we are wont to criticize our fellow humans in our daily discourse in social media or conversations.


Caution on Public Criticism


While clearly human actions are visible to us, 

And thus subject to our discriminating eyes,

Remember it is God alone that can discern

Hidden intentions and desires of the actor,

Unless unequivocally declared in public.


Good faith on the motives are to be assumed

To be fair and equitable in our judgments.

To rashly ascribe unkind and shallow motives 

Would no doubt clearly be unfair and unjust.

Thus best to exercise circumspection in such

For truly we do not possess the complete truth.


In another vein, the better part of discretion

Dutifully dictates to those hurt or concerned

To stay quiet about the misunderstandings

Unless keeping in quiet solitude it leads to

Much graver scandal or unnecessary offense.



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In Pursuit of Youthful Stuff

As a young pimply kid growing up in the 50’s in the sleepy town of Cagayan de Or0, we made do with whatever was available and affordable in pursuing our idle dreams of fame and fortune.  Dreams gathered and collated from what we saw on the silver screen, which for most of us was our only window to the rest of the fantasized world.

We naturally wanted to look like our idols, act and sing like them, and imitated as best we could their mannerisms, using means as crude and coarse as they got during those simpler times.

We did not have smartphones, not even decent cameras, much less photo editing apps we could play around with in pursuit of our escapist fantasies.

As a matter of fact, if we wanted pictures of ourselves, during off-times, meaning when there were no class pictures scheduled or school events to be memorialized in pictures, we had to go to one of a few studios around the city and sit for a portrait.  And this would set us back a few pesos, which meant we had to save for it.

And a number of us did just that, recording for posterity the silliness and pettiness that characterized our youth.

And in hindsight, we have cause for snickering. Or maybe smirking?


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Approaching the 2nd Term of Obama


In a latest show of disregard for 1st Amendment rights where the American Christian filmmaker of the controversial YouTube trailer that supposedly sparked all the flames stoking the Middle East and South Asia and specifically directed at US offices, had been taken by LA county deputies at midnight “for voluntary questioning”, I now find  no reason why any US voter ought to vote for the incumbent.  We do not have to name who the replacement ought to be.  It is just “anybody but” as far as I am concerned.

And let us count the random ways why he should not be re-elected.

Since he took office the general well-being of Americans has declined. In our local economy we find very anemic growth, very high chronic unemployment, even poverty has dramatically increased,   and millions of people have even stopped looking for work.  Household incomes have fallen to lowest levels since the 90’s.

His foreign policy initiatives from dealing with Iran’s nuclear weapon development activities to fostering better relations with Russia, and dealing with the Middle East and Israel in general, have not brought any results that we can celebrate about.

 He has not even properly addressed the looming debt crisis the country is bound to experience, much less planning any serious attempt at welfare and entitlement reforms.  His actions have simply exacerbated the problems which continue to get worse as more and more people join in on the Federal dole.

His policies to spur growth in the economy have been dismal failures. Including the promised pipe dream of creating more green jobs.  What about any attempt to mitigate the housing problems which continue to bedevil the country?

Not only are we registering record numbers in food stamps, and astronomical gas prices, we are now also experiencing increases in insurance premiums.  I suppose no thanks to the landmark Obamacare.

Even his campaign for re-election has gone into the deep end churning out less than honest ad campaigns targeting opposition candidates, rather than focusing on the problems of the state.

It would be nice to see amidst all these a harried head of state moving heaven and hell to try and address all these problems that cry out for attention, instead we see one too concerned only with fundraisers and recreational activities in the golf courses and  expensive vacation spots of the country and abroad.


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Thoughts on this the holy day of the Lord:  

Rather than a holy man or a prophet, it was instead a classical historian who reminded me that nothing in the world today that happens to man is new.

If one is confused or in quandary as to how to respond to current events, one simply has to turn to history, the old books, to realize the repetitive nature of things and events, and thus for modern man to derive the pertinent lessons from them.

All the lessons we need to lead good lives can be derived from those sources, whether in religious settings like Holy Scriptures, or in secular settings like ancient history books.

 All of humanity, of whatever religious orientation or inclination, simply needs to turn to them for examples or illustration.


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"Three coins in the fountain. Which one will the fountain bless. . . . . ." 

A reported tri-cornered auction for the 2016 mayoral election in our city is in the offing.  Here are some off-the-cuff observations from a budding numismatist, though for the sake of circumspection and tongue-in-cheek humor, no candidates’ names are mentioned.  Please appraise it for whatever currency it may have.

 The most-seasoned “fractional denomination” and his misshapen looks are still  glossy and eye-catching.  He has deadly intent to jingle back into the coffers of the city and he will mint any and all proof sets to attain that goal.  His protestations to the contrary and his eroded edges notwithstanding.  His intent is singular and his actions are all focused toward a fortuitous end.  To rule the city’s purse-strings anew.

 In the case of the other “loose change” it may be a little different. One recalls that at the onset of his decision to run for mayor, he interposed certain obstacles against his running.  A heart-tugging one remembered was that his family was not too happy about it, that they would rather he spends more time with them after so many years in politics.  And many early supporters got the shiny impression that he was in this one joust only to unseat what was perceived as a very undesirable and corrupt counterfeit legal tender.   And no mention was made about what would transpire after this.   Meaning no thoughts or plans were made beyond a first term.  After all, here was a candidate many thought who was possessed with a singularly-engraved noble intention of serving the common welfare.  And nothing more.  With no plans to perpetuate himself in power.  Also, what might the family think since after all they were already ambivalent about his initial round at auction?

With regard to the third “coin of the realm”, before casting their lot with  the eventual incumbent many had him as  the prized gold-cladded choice, and being one of its own, many pursued him relentlessly to no avail.   Excuses were given, like that he wanted to finish his work in Congress, etc.  And many held breaths and bids till the last minute.  Hedging for him to run for at least just one term.  Because he was viewed as a mint-condition shoo-in, even against a well-entrenched machinery. What ended however was that he eventually threw his support and ante pot with the challenger.  And many attribute this for the eventual record-price victory of the challenger.

  But recall that all this transpired before learning of this legislator’s BBL stance and his own PDAP/DAP mess.  Have we “loosely changed” our minds about him?

 "Three coins in the fountain. Make it mine!  Make it mine!"


Wednesday, July 07, 2021

Golden Years In Employment

An innocent little FB post earlier inevitably evoked memories of my past employment, the very last prior to final retirement. 

It lasted for about 10 years, and I would consider them 10 golden years, but not because they accorded me with monetary returns approximating the precious metal. Rather those years were most priceless because of the over 36 years of my employment in different fields, they gave me the most exciting challenges and inspiration in my working life.  Measured much more than any in the diverse fields I had found myself in earlier employment - from non-life insurance, to teaching HS and college, to branch banking, then lastly to the hospitality industry. And of course, since I  was myself approaching my golden years then the description fits.

Working those golden years I found myself showing initiatives and drives I never discovered earlier, in a field that I totally was unprepared for, both academically and experience-wise. Imagine being able to devote time and intense attention learning about software applications written in thick tomes which at times got very technical. 

 I was literally pushed into the whirlpool called the computer and IT industry, which during those times was beginning to garner global attention and prominence, and thrown into the place which could be considered the front yard of where all the action was happening, in Silicon Valley. What exciting times, even for a doting employee approaching retirement. 

 I had wished then that we should have had established residence closer to the valley rather than San Francisco whose main industry was hospitality and tourism.  Admittedly, it was quite envious reading and meeting some who had earned their millions simply being employed in small start-up companies in the nearby cities dotting the valley. The bigger and more-established enterprises in the valley were in hot pursuit gobbling up start-ups that could improve their own products.

 Anyway with reality the way it is, I moved on and proceeded to push my nose to the grind, learning as much as I could on my own. Aside from reading textbooks and via the Internet, actually building PCs at home, and even constructing a server-workstation network with about a dozen nodes of printers and workstations, to duplicate and simulate actual work environment.

But by then age had caught up on me and the decade was up, though emerging technologies were still sizzling, even after the tech bust at the turn of the century. And today, it continues and it gets more advanced, more challenging, and harder to understand from the outside. 

 Anyway, pushed myself to go up my attic to retrieve what I had kept as reminders of the tools of that last trade I pursued. So I found stowed in an old attaché case, an assortment of items, from tools to parts, cramped inside that little storage, but sufficient enough to remind me of those glorious years. 

 Now ensconced in our attic where old stuff go to hibernate.