My First Return to the Old Hometown

Though it had transpired in the early 60’s of the last century, significant memories of it are so deeply etched in my mind that recall would be quite easy.  No sweat.

But the first question to be asked rightly would be why the need to leave which necessitated a return.  Well, it was like this.

Completion of high school for me was in the summer of 1958, followed right away by my first year of college in the same school, Xavier University.  High school ended on a rocky note for me, after a year or two of listlessness and aimlessness.  Had lost much interest in school, and was simply going through the motion in cadence with the rest of the people who were in school with me.  Unbeknownst to me my mother had been burdened by this development, maybe even unable to find in her mind the solution on how to deal with me.  So in a moment’s notice, I was told I would be sent to Manila to live with my father there.  Obediently, did her bidding and wasn’t really too grieved by the prospects, for after all it would be my chance to see and live in the big city, for the first time.  So there I was shipped to Manila in a slow boat, where I would be spending the next 3 years.  The time allowed me to finish an undergraduate course.  And in a real way, allowed me the opportunity to examine my life’s priorities and direction and set a course somewhat, though still quite asea and confused.  For one thing, after that undergraduate course, I still did not find myself prepared enough to pursue any meaningful path in terms of career or whatever.  Did not find myself sufficiently mature to enter adult life, since I still kind of thought of myself as an adolescent.

Anyway, there I was again with one brother, and my father and his entire family, in a tub of a boat on our slow voyage back to Cagayan de Oro.

The slow trip allowed for some time of introspection and simply of idle thoughts.  What would the city be like after the long absence?  What about the people whom I knew, where would they be now?  Never had the opportunity to return for a visit the entire 3 years.

Before long all this would be addressed and resolved.  As is typical or usual, the boat docked in the early morning, and before long I and my brother were driven to my mother’s house which was less than 2 kilometers away, passing by the old provincial capitol grounds.

Immediately I was hit with the revelation that because the streets in Manila were wider and better paved, that our own streets were quite narrow, and indeed looked rural, with acacia trees flopping in the wind and tossing its branches above the asphalted streets.  That experience stayed with me for quite a while.

It made me realize and exclaim that before Manila, I had really lived a rural kind of life in very rustic surroundings.  How different the local color and ambiance were.  In a way, how pitiable, especially taking into account the better-looking houses and buildings in Manila.  No wonder travelers before had swooned of the manifold wonders of Manila after their own memorable trips to the capital city.

Over time, I would always harbor the thought that living in any small hometown was life lived in small and simple ways.  Thriving among uncomplicated people and circumstances.  Of life, easy to deal with and none the worse for tear and wear.

Thus, in the succeeding years, I would be engaged in sojourns of leaving the old hometown and coming back after long absences.  And the self-same feelings would still engulf me upon each return.  Like an older man going back to his youth, and reliving the perceived glories that were then present and enjoyed.  And enjoying being cradled by such familiarity and simplicity.

Today as I turn 3 scores and 18, idling thoughts still turn to the same remembrances and somehow they bring some comfort and relief.   And maybe the final thought that this last return to the old homeland would be the last.

Proposed XU Comprehensive Development.

An integral part of this expansive development would be the outright sale of a good chunk of the XU main campus in the Divisoria area, and another sale of another area in the Manresa area. 

It is both unfair and unwise to treat this loaded issue as simply black or white, meaning that you have the stakeholders on one side wanting to sell, versus some of the other stakeholders but mostly non-owners opposing the sale.

Why “some of the other owners”, because a reading of those who oppose the sale will reveal the names of the current archbishop and several past XU presidents/officials, who are all also members of the same Society.

In reality, the issue is rather involved and complicated.

The proposed sale to a third-party developer would involve demolition of many extant and in-use buildings in the old campus and the erection of a few high-rise structures along what is now Hayes St.  Similarly, some existing structures in Manresa would also be demolished.  In other words, not much different from completed or ongoing mixed-use developments around the city.

The only easily discernible difference is that most if not all of those developments are owned and/or undertaken by commercial entities with personal profits as their overriding motivation – like the Ayala, SM, Gaisano, etc.  Not so with the proposed XU development.  It is owned by a revered religious institution deeply rooted in the service of humanity, especially those under-privileged.   It is then assumed that whatever it does, the overarching motivation will always defer to its long-standing motto, “to be men for others”.

My reading is that It is precisely in this one particular and critical regard that those opposed have latched on their movement, albeit indeed they are not owners of the property.

What is being asked is for a more open and comprehensive discussion of the many facets to the issue, for as much time as needed for this very involved process.  In other words, expand the previously noted discernment process which was revealed as having only involved a segment of the community.

I daresay that the NO TO SALE side has neither broadly defined its opposition to any sale of any property nor is such stance one written in stone, but rather that thorough exploration of all options or possibilities is exposed to light of day and assessed.  After all, wasn’t Xavier Estates once part of the vast landholdings of Xavier U?

So let us take a breather and while away some time.  Remember we have future generations to think about.

El Camino De Santiago

El Camino De Santiago

That is the temporal road, that straddles between at least two countries in Europe.  But the spiritual road is Christ.  He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

And without him, there is no going.  No knowing. And no living.

And he is not limited by any boundaries.

During the time of Christ, the main transport of travel was walking.  And indeed Christ did a lot of walking in the countryside of the Holy Land and beyond.   These exhausting physical exertions in rugged places we are told had made the human Christ an envious picture of sturdiness, hardiness, and physical strength.  Not the effeminate figure with dainty hands we see in current-day images.

Constant trekking from place to place was the one physical exercise that aided men of that milieu in transcending the physical realm into the mystical or spiritual. Like extreme athletes of our times, people then attain natural “highs” or altered states doing the normal routines of their living – walking to get to work, walking to search for their food, walking to learn of things, etc., routines that transformed them into a hardy people.

Today we consider our recreational running and jogging as our camino to better our bodies and minds and or to make ourselves fit for the rigors of our daily living.  But soldiers and armies then went through incessant “forced marches” to prepare for battle.

In all this, walking had the goal of achieving temporal goals for the partakers. For that is what walking does. A draining of physical energy and vigor to lighten the spirits and make them soar to heights.  And that is what is intended.

However, many participants of the Camino de Santiago consider it as a means to attain many temporal goals – like a way to finding themselves, as the possible portal that could lead to finding a worthy mate for life, a saintly venue to meet people who inspire or are agreeable to us, a way to practice a bit of the contemplative life, a way to find help in our individual lives’ many challenges, etc.

But I do believe this temporal way is intended for a greater purpose, and this is to meet and imitate the spiritual or mystical Way, Christ.  And in the singularity of the eye of our intention, no temporal baggage ought to be added to burden that knowledge and following.  We do it for the singular purpose of following Christ because He demands it from his trusty and loyal sojourners.

And taking this route one cannot go wrong, remembering that temporal goals however commendable are fleeting and do not last long.

And is the Camino then the only path that leads to our spiritual enlightenment and guidance?

One doubts that, especially because not all people can possibly have the time or means to travel to that distant place, so one can walk over 800 kilometers.

There are enough kilometers where our own individual lives are, without necessitating any distant travel.

As a species humans are quite unique, as one city week-end runner in the US once remarked:  We drive in our cars for 10 miles so we can get to a park and run around it for 2 miles.

We can define our own camino in the comfort and ease of our own work-a-day lives wherever we find ourselves, and it would be just as effective, rigorous, and acceptable.

I have been routinely jogging and walking for almost 30 years, already covering thousands of miles and wearing away countless sneakers.  At times the journey had been pained and difficult, at other times light-hearted and joyous. I had jogged on sunny days, in the cover of early night, or under pouring rain.   Under a temperate climate or under the blistering sun of the tropics. The journey and route running the entire gamut of human living.

I like to believe that my search for the Camino of Life has led me to a better place than when I started.  Not the ideal place, but a better place.  After all that is all and how much this earthly life promises to each one of us.

God Works In Mysterious Ways

Every time some things happen in an unexpected way that stump our thinking, we justify by saying that God works in mysterious ways.

This is also true when unexpected things are done by people that we thought could never accomplish such things or amount to anything commendable.  Still, we say that God works in mysterious ways and saves the day.  A passable enough justification to provide logic or reason for such occurrences.

But there are instances when our own preconceived biases prevent us from seeing it that way, and instead dismiss the doer as nothing more than a charlatan or a faker.  Our usual prescription for understanding such unusual events fails to apply, and instead we turn to the other default.  The doer has to be evil, even if the expected results of his actions are exemplary.  Good cannot be eked out from such an inherently evil person.

Very early in his life, Trump had been like the many other billionaires in the world, who are never satisfied with their first million, or their first billion.  They have to have more.  Their coffers are big enough to accommodate almost all wealth in the world.  Their unmitigated craving for worldly successes and the power and influence that go with it, appear to have no limits.  The thirst just gets bigger and bigger.  Think Facebook, Google, Amazon, etc.

But something happened to Trump when he turned his sights to becoming president.  He metamorphosed into something completely different. A completely changed person.  And he must have been sufficiently prescient to realize that becoming president would make him abandon his old ways of wanting more money, or continuing to pursue his hedonistic and wayward ways, or to show complete disregard for his troubled country.  It is conventional knowledge to accede that those who enter politics would actually lose part of their wealth.  Instead he embraced the wholesome changes with will and vigor, even going some steps beyond like actually choosing not to receive his salary as president, which is no chump change.  He could be a millionaire with just his salary.  Not very much, but still a millionaire

Thus, for all discernible intents and purposes, Trump the candidate was a completely different person to the core than Trump the president.  Of course, the innate accidents of his being as a person are still there – he is still irreverent and coarse in speech, he never allows any daylight on negative comments directed at him without a scathing riposte, etc.

And his winning the election could be said to be more than surreal, though short of being mystical.  No single pollster thought he could win.  All the pundits laughed at loud at his chances of winning.  Those of his party included.  In hindsight even the now infamous and sinister-looking Peter Strzok was very bold to write that the foregone election would be 100m to zero in favor of Hillary.

And his win did not come because a greater number of voters picked him, though there are pesky questions as to how many exactly of those votes cast came from legitimate voters.  His win came from a selected number of voters who were in strategic states to give Trump the winning electoral votes, which he topped by a very comfortable margin.  Thus, no legitimate question or challenge could be asked about the win.  Simply, another “miracle” attributed to Trump from the founders via the Electoral College.

But this short of miraculous win came with a deadly price, Trump did not spare himself from the rage, anger, and mortified wrath that a committed cadre of disgruntled detractors which had not allowed him to have a moment of peace, or allowed him sufficient time to rule.   They have tried to batter him from pillar to post, unable to hold their mystified rage and rancor, from the first moments of his administration.

And this is where the US is right now.

Being on the right side of history does not assure one tremendous and overwhelming popular support from all sectors of the polity.  Many times one has to stand alone, solitary and lonely with only the godly assurance that what you are doing is righteous and thus one must soldier on, and somehow still yearn to be victorious.

And in this heady milieu of Trumpism, how can one escape the uncanny parallelism between him and another historic figure?  Granted many personal facets from both figures are almost diametrically opposite or different, but still a number of  pivotal details in their rule do jibe and can stand as healthy juxtaposition.

That historic figure was also reviled by all learned men of his time, men who occupied high social status and/or sat in the fearsome hierarchy of the ruling classes and the self-anointed ones who were pre-ordained to dispense with the knowledge and wisdom to impart to the governed.  They mocked and derided him for his unworldly claims and plebian ways.  Even his own people turned their backs on him.

His muted claim as the progenitor of their salvation and renaissance was rudely chastised and derided. And he had also inferred that following him would allow the benighted people of Israel to return to their roots in faith and become great again.  Sounds familiar?

And we continue with the self-same hope that God will continue to work in mysterious ways.

Wisdom blooming late, or simply a late awakening?

As we truly advance in years, certain attitudes and behavior take on understanding and clarity that we feel will tide us over till we die.  It is quite easy to say that the accumulated years of experience have taught us the incalculable lessons we feel we have been vested with.  But still if we scratch deeper we could also claim that there are other things at play that may have triggered their genesis.

Anyway, through our mellowed years many of us find that we have become more tolerant and accepting not only of others’ faults but of the uncertainties and at times cruelties of life.  We find ourselves not only less impatient, but actually more understanding, as to how and why a lot of people we have put trust in have fallen way short of our expectations, however realistic those expectations may be.

We have learned to not expect too much about the temporal desires of life from actually happening, unlike before when our expectations were iron-clad and steadfast.  Now we learn to take things in stride, diminishing the gravity and passion of our desires, and expectations.  We have learned to “make do” with whatever results life may have dealt with us.  With the least of regrets, and more of contentment if not consignment.

And I do not believe that all this is attributed to old age which has dulled or slowed down most things we do or think.  And needless to state, we assume that practically everything we do or perceive has slowed to a walk or worse, as we are in our twilight years, not just the physical pace, but including the mental acuities we have acquired during the growing years.

So why are we as almost default more tolerant, less impatient, and more accepting of the realities which in our younger years, we used to resent with gusto when they do not go our way?

I do believe that the real reason for this world of change is because we ourselves have looked inward and found that in the things we have been doing and planning we have constantly failed not only ourselves, but also the people around.  And this in spite of our darn honest to goodness attempts to try to do better. And this frank realization is easily arrived at if only we are quite honest with ourselves.

We find that failure is our constant companion in this life, our sojourn buddy who has kept with us, unshakable and unwavering.  Neither could we shake it off or leave it behind. Failures not in the things of the spirit, but failures in all the temporal or earthy things that we have hitched our futures on.

Only our spiritual quests will find fruition and realization.  And this we will ultimately realize not in this life, but after we have shaken off our mortal coil.

How do we know?  We simply will have to latch on to our Faith and to what it promises.

And because old age typically does not last long, the waiting may be sooner than we think.