Today
I embark on that now regular trip back to the adopted country which has also become
the country of allegiance. Actually, one
of two that somehow got fused in what may be viewed as paradoxical, though
easily explainable. Where one has pledged
obeisance to two disparate countries at the same time. But that is the reality albeit in some
stealthy and underhanded way, and one that works so long as they say that never
the twain shall meet. In fine, this is
typical example how dual citizenship is made possible.
The
strenuous trip of over 16 hours has to be made for some imperative
reasons. I and the wife take our turns attending to
this chore.
Back
to the trip. So I am finding myself in
between flights, one domestic and the other all the way across the wide expanse
of the Pacific to beautiful and cool San Francisco by the bay; thus giving me time
to spare and to lend my thoughts out of the ether to something a bit more
permanent and lasting.
For
some easily discernible reason which needs not be divulged, I have to travel
solo in this and previous trips, leaving the wife to care for manifold concerns
in the old homeland. And by design then,
this and previous trips have been lonely ventures, with forlorn thoughts for
companion and solace.
But
for one quite at home with solitude and prone to conversing with oneself, I
must confess the ordeal is actually a relief proffered by unavoidable circumstances. As a matter of fact, it affords the manifold
opportunities to introspect, retrospect, and reflect on more profound things of
life, like maybe the inevitability of one’s mortality. One finds this exercise quite useful and
necessary especially as one steadily and surely approaches the twilight of
one’s years.
So
here I am lodged on a swivel chair beside a table equipped with a bunch of
electrical convenient outlets, at the premier international airport of the old
country waiting for a flight that leaves in a couple of hours. Plugging away at
my trusty companion, my laptop.
I
am sifting through the many varied concerns both trip related and those that
typically beset the thinking serious man as he travels through life. It makes for a confusing maze of unrelated
odds and ends that crave for attention and priority.
Being
an inveterate note-taker, I need not worry about missing some of them due to failing
memory, most of the thoughts having been written down, sorted out, categorized,
and highlighted. It is then a matter of
going through each one, in the order of importance and gravity.
But
that will not be the topic of this scribbling.
Rather this will be about the knotty problems of politics, both in the
old homeland and in the adopted country. In a twist of fated destiny, politics
is on heightened mode in both places. In
the old homeland the year 2013 is designated as the election cycle for both local
and national government positions, except for the presidency. And as always, politics is not only
contentious and very melodramatic and also very shallow and pretentious, but
more morosely it is also very dirty in many respects. Thus the ominous cloud of physical violence is
ever present and hovering, a skin-crawling eventuality that threatens
everyone’s safety.
And
the US
All
this knotty thinking has given me a double-treat headache, given how much of a
worry wart I am about the overall state of both countries. After all one wishes well for the places
where one lives. On all levels that I have been exposed to, whether as personal
experiences or learned from reading or listening to media and the Internet, I
can extract so many glaring failures of governance. Sufficient for one to experience sleepless
nights, and bouts of extreme frustration and loss of faith in people, and the
system.
It
appears as ever that man is destined to suffer in this world, regardless
of how everybody else think differently. That no amount of good intentions and noble
actions can stem the surging tide that is pushing man to the path of perdition
and misery. As we read in the classical
good books, man is bound to suffer and that is his lot. That there is no escaping that. So might as well prepare for that, designing
plans and attitudes with that in mind.
Thus
many of us have resigned to the reality hhat life is not intended to be
enjoyed, but suffered through. We have
been destined not to gather peace and happiness but to go through tribulations
and crosses.
Perish
the thoughts then that because life is short, we ought to pursue whatever
little fleeting enjoyment we can derive from it. Like, plan for those dearly-craved-for vacations
and fancy trips to witness grand sights and interesting people never before
experienced. Gather as much pleasant
memories while the candle of life still burns.
For when life is no more, everything is gone.
But
if once life is gone and everything else is gone, why bother? Isn’t there wisdom then in the Biblical
saying that we should not gather material treasures that fade with time, but
instead gather those that will last for eternity?
For
indeed what has happened to the enjoyments and the pleasant experiences of the
last happy trip? The momentous once-in-a-lifetime vacation taken with special
friends and family? The historic meeting
with cherished acquaintances separated by so many decades? Even the thrills and smiles of yesterday? They probably have lost their novelty and
before long will be consigned to the
unattended corners of our mind and life.
At
most, we ought to seek only for contentment or some degree of satisfaction that
we have tried hard to live a good life. A simple and uncluttered life. A life of constant challenges and countless
occasions of begin-again moments.
The
real measure being in the dogged determination and passion of the attempts,
rather than the grandiosity of the results.
